Health & Wellness

International Women's Global Day is celebrated on 8th of March, every year to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women and rally for women's equality. It is not country, group, nor organisation specific. Gloria Steinem, world-renowned feminist, journalist and activist once explained "The story of women's struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist, nor to any one organisation, but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights." 

The first gathering was held way back in1911. Sadly even after 100 years, none of us and our children still see gender parity. For Women’s Day 2021, the campaign theme is ‘Choose To Challenge'.

So I, 'Choose to Challenge’ that, 'I Can Be Heard too, I also have a Voice'. I don’t have to be aggressive, scream or shout, I can lovingly, firmly, clearly and effectively express myself. 

This challenge made me drift back to the day, when I confessed to my mother that my fathers uncle had touched me sexually when I was six. I had expected some reaction of sadness, anger, empathy from my mother but all I heard her say was, Don't tell your husband, or anyone else about this abuse…

I had blamed my mother completely for making me quiet  and not taking any action.

For years my mother million dollar advice was, 'Don't say anything, just keep quiet'. Her words would drive me nuts.

Only two years ago, after my dad passed away did it strike me that I was attacking my mom and making her a zero. It was my expectation that she should have done things differently. That was not possible for she was a slave to the conditioning of subconscious programs of silence and hiding in all women of my generation from my mothers side.

It took me years to understand the significance of my mothers wisdom. Her Golden words, “Don't say anything” were not meant to suppress me, they were to say, I, like her must not waste time in the fruitless activity of trying to be heard, or be constantly proving to be right, for in her experience, her loved ones, including me, had not heard her effectively. She was alone when she was sad and low. She had developed the qualities of the air-hostess. She always presented her best-self with a calmness, well groomed smile and with obedience. She knew how to handle all kinds of passengers on her flight. Her prime objective was to serve all her house people well, she had mastered the art of maintaining harmony and peace. I rarely saw her grumpy, her smile was her best makeup which conceals her sadness, hurt, vulnerability, weakness and pain effectively.

Today, I am ready to look at my mother closely and hear the wisdom beneath her words. I can connect with her inner-strength hidden in her silence. I acknowledge the strength of silence shared by women of my family and society, and acknowledge their pain and hurt. Today I have transformed this into my profession as a counsellor, as I have to be silent about my clients secrets and silence is a key factor in my and their success.

Today, I also understand as an adult that I am ready to break the mould of stereotyping myself and I am breaking my silence. No more concealing my feeling of pain and hurt. I am today effectively transforming all my pain and hurt, into my wings. I am ready to look at my mother closely and hear the wisdom beneath her words and can use this in my profession  but I don't have to live my personal life with this philosophy. If my destiny as a girl child is prewritten in the book of silence, then today I choose to rewrite my story in the book of justice, dignity, purity and grace. With me speaking up, and opening up my palms, I am creating this opportunity for many more like me.

This is my choice to add my own chapter in the book of choices my generation wrote. To stand where the rest of my clan has chosen to sit. To scream what the world has chosen to whisper. Not just for my mother, sister, grandmother, aunts, daughter and nieces, but for me and for others who are connected in love and pain, to create something meaningful of this pain and propel a change that is greater than anything else that I have experienced. I choose to be stronger, kinder and to create history rather than let history create me. I have decided to emerge out of  this deep darkness and fly high and touch the skies. I am using my anger as a fuel to propel myself to reach for the skies and  I am ready to pave the path of true empowerment and celebrate with a dance of joy and love. Finally I found a tribe with which I can vibe.



By: Dr. Anu Mehta | Meta Health Trainer | Life Coach